Post by Nerf Herders on Apr 19, 2010 22:30:02 GMT -5
When looking at the recent free agent acquisition period it becomes apparent that 4 teams either did not take part in recruiting talent, or bid so poorly that all hope was lost.
We here at Rebel Alliance Quarter master Battalion want to know where these teams were and what they were thinking when all the FA bidding was taking place.
We first tried to track down Joe "has Tomlinson already been drafted?" Kelly, GM of OSV Yoda to see what he had to say about his teams absence in the free agent market. Joe was no where to be found at his usual hang outs of the hooka bars and hash houses. After days of searching we tracked down a friend, of a friend, of a Fosh. "...you must go to the Degobah system". The Degobah system! Who goes to the Degobah system this time of year? Doesn't Joe know it's mating season of the swamp slug right now! After checking with our producers, and doing a little research on the mating habits of the Swamp Slug, we decided asking Joe what was up, just wasn't worth it.
We next went to track down See Spock Run head coach, Mike "there were no droids I was looking for" Tomaselli. It seems Mike is quite the adventurer, and was on a trek to capture a Wampa. It turns out Mike was spending a day at base camp after meteorites pelted the land over the last few days.
We managed to catch up to Mike and here's what he had to say.
RAQB: So Mike, your team failed to make even an appearance in acquiring free agents, did you bid, or did you avoid free agency all together?
Mike: FREE AGENTS! I don't have time for free agents. Don't u know what's we found here?!
RAQB: Wampa's interbreeding with tauntaun's?
Mike: NO YOU FOOL! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE STREET VALUE OF THIS MOUNTAIN IS?
RAQB: Huh?
Mike: THIS IS PURE SNOW!
RAQB: O...K.... Ummm
Mike: Plant Hoth is but a fly speck on the galactic map, a rest stop on the way to Naboo. We need to gather this snow and sell it on the black market!
Needless to say we left Mike to his madness, let's just hope Mike can pull it together n time for the rookie draft in the next few weeks.
Looking for a more stable person, we next tracked down Scott "you guys need to move out of your parents basements and get a life" Moden, coach of the oddly named Bloated Cadavers. We were happy to learn Scott was on semi normal planet of Necropolis. Semi-normal we say because only a man who leads a team called, Bloated Cadavers would seem to be at home on a planet with the largest cemetery in the star wars galaxy.
We thought we'd finally get some answers as to why the cadavers didn't dip into the free agent pool, but we should have know better. Instead we found Scott dipping his wick in the dead, literally.
We found Scott knee deep in dead bodies, most of them naked, all of them bloated, none of them aware of what would become of their bodies after they were gone. We won't get into the gory details, but what we can tell you is that u should make sure when u die that your b body burns up with your ship, or is blasted to oblivion, or hope your body is slowly digested over 1000 years in the bowels of a sarlacc. Any of those things would be better than what Scott was doing with the bloated bodies in his possession.
The last team who failed to make a splash in free agency was Dirty Chewbacca, owned and operated by none other than James “Thousands of potential children died on your daughter’s face last night” Ganley. Perhaps after finishing the season 10-6 last year, James thinks his shit don’t stink and why fix it if it ain’t broke? Well, we were hopefully that at least one owner would be able to tell us why free agency didn’t appeal to him. We managed to catch up with James at a seedy little place, Madame Lota's House of Flowers, located on Belsavis, deep in the Ninth Quadrent. Perhaps the most famous brothel in the known universe. They say any race can get it on with any race, if the price it right. We’ve hear James has a thing for wookies, but it’s also rumored that he picks his weekly line ups while getting his freak on with a female Aqualish. Hey, what ever floats your boat. Sadly when we found James, this is what he had to say.
RAQB: So James, why didn’t your team partake in the free agent bidding this past few weeks.
James: What do you mean, that’s why I’m here.
RAQB: What do you mean, what do you mean? This is a house of pleasure and pain, what does that have to do with cruising the free agent market?
James: I’m here to get inspiration, for which free agents I should bid on.
RAQB: But, FA bidding is over, in face all the players have singed with their new teams and OTA’s start next week.
James: NO! It can’t be… I haven’t been there that long. DAM time space continuum!
And at that James stormed off into the recesses of the club, past the VIP section, to where we were not allowed to follow.
Well there you have it folks, the only thing we can tell you for sure was that these 4 teams obviously had other things on their minds and didn’t feel the need to bid on free agents. Let’s just hope they’re paying attention for the rookie draft in a few weeks.
We here at Rebel Alliance Quarter master Battalion want to know where these teams were and what they were thinking when all the FA bidding was taking place.
We first tried to track down Joe "has Tomlinson already been drafted?" Kelly, GM of OSV Yoda to see what he had to say about his teams absence in the free agent market. Joe was no where to be found at his usual hang outs of the hooka bars and hash houses. After days of searching we tracked down a friend, of a friend, of a Fosh. "...you must go to the Degobah system". The Degobah system! Who goes to the Degobah system this time of year? Doesn't Joe know it's mating season of the swamp slug right now! After checking with our producers, and doing a little research on the mating habits of the Swamp Slug, we decided asking Joe what was up, just wasn't worth it.
We next went to track down See Spock Run head coach, Mike "there were no droids I was looking for" Tomaselli. It seems Mike is quite the adventurer, and was on a trek to capture a Wampa. It turns out Mike was spending a day at base camp after meteorites pelted the land over the last few days.
We managed to catch up to Mike and here's what he had to say.
RAQB: So Mike, your team failed to make even an appearance in acquiring free agents, did you bid, or did you avoid free agency all together?
Mike: FREE AGENTS! I don't have time for free agents. Don't u know what's we found here?!
RAQB: Wampa's interbreeding with tauntaun's?
Mike: NO YOU FOOL! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE STREET VALUE OF THIS MOUNTAIN IS?
RAQB: Huh?
Mike: THIS IS PURE SNOW!
RAQB: O...K.... Ummm
Mike: Plant Hoth is but a fly speck on the galactic map, a rest stop on the way to Naboo. We need to gather this snow and sell it on the black market!
Needless to say we left Mike to his madness, let's just hope Mike can pull it together n time for the rookie draft in the next few weeks.
Looking for a more stable person, we next tracked down Scott "you guys need to move out of your parents basements and get a life" Moden, coach of the oddly named Bloated Cadavers. We were happy to learn Scott was on semi normal planet of Necropolis. Semi-normal we say because only a man who leads a team called, Bloated Cadavers would seem to be at home on a planet with the largest cemetery in the star wars galaxy.
We thought we'd finally get some answers as to why the cadavers didn't dip into the free agent pool, but we should have know better. Instead we found Scott dipping his wick in the dead, literally.
We found Scott knee deep in dead bodies, most of them naked, all of them bloated, none of them aware of what would become of their bodies after they were gone. We won't get into the gory details, but what we can tell you is that u should make sure when u die that your b body burns up with your ship, or is blasted to oblivion, or hope your body is slowly digested over 1000 years in the bowels of a sarlacc. Any of those things would be better than what Scott was doing with the bloated bodies in his possession.
The last team who failed to make a splash in free agency was Dirty Chewbacca, owned and operated by none other than James “Thousands of potential children died on your daughter’s face last night” Ganley. Perhaps after finishing the season 10-6 last year, James thinks his shit don’t stink and why fix it if it ain’t broke? Well, we were hopefully that at least one owner would be able to tell us why free agency didn’t appeal to him. We managed to catch up with James at a seedy little place, Madame Lota's House of Flowers, located on Belsavis, deep in the Ninth Quadrent. Perhaps the most famous brothel in the known universe. They say any race can get it on with any race, if the price it right. We’ve hear James has a thing for wookies, but it’s also rumored that he picks his weekly line ups while getting his freak on with a female Aqualish. Hey, what ever floats your boat. Sadly when we found James, this is what he had to say.
RAQB: So James, why didn’t your team partake in the free agent bidding this past few weeks.
James: What do you mean, that’s why I’m here.
RAQB: What do you mean, what do you mean? This is a house of pleasure and pain, what does that have to do with cruising the free agent market?
James: I’m here to get inspiration, for which free agents I should bid on.
RAQB: But, FA bidding is over, in face all the players have singed with their new teams and OTA’s start next week.
James: NO! It can’t be… I haven’t been there that long. DAM time space continuum!
And at that James stormed off into the recesses of the club, past the VIP section, to where we were not allowed to follow.
Well there you have it folks, the only thing we can tell you for sure was that these 4 teams obviously had other things on their minds and didn’t feel the need to bid on free agents. Let’s just hope they’re paying attention for the rookie draft in a few weeks.